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From Luke’s Journal March 2026  |  Vol. 31  No. 1  |  God at the Bedside

Caring for someone you love at the end of their life brings together our professional skills, personal resilience and deep compassion. This reflection shares my experience of caring for my mother at home during her final days and the insights it offered into community-based palliative care.

Beginning the Journey

On Christmas Eve 2014, my mother began her final journey. Alzheimer’s disease had slowly taken her memory and independence, but her gentle, kind, and faith-filled nature remained.

Five months earlier, I had arranged support from the local specialist palliative care team. At the time of her diagnosis, and before significant cognitive decline, Mum had clearly expressed her wish to die at home and avoid hospitalisation or life-prolonging interventions.

Providentially, the timing of her terminal decline allowed our family to fulfil her wishes. It was Christmas, and my sibling and I were on annual leave; her husband had recently retired. Surrounded by familiar comfort, Mum remained safe in the home she had known for fifty years.

“Though she no longer knew who we were, she knew she was safe with us.”

Challenges Along the Way

Caring for Mum at home during the holiday period came with unexpected difficulties:

• Access to equipment was limited, and caring for her on a double bed made repositioning and hygiene care challenging.
• The summer heat added to the physical strain.
• Basic clinical supplies — mouth care packs, absorbent underlay, slide sheets, washcloths — were surprisingly difficult to source in the community.
• Medications were dispensed in small quantities, which meant frequent pharmacy visits and accumulating costs.
• The emotional load of being both daughter and nurse was immense.

At times, I was exhausted and overwhelmed. The moment she was taken from her home after her death remains one of my hardest memories.

“Even with decades of nursing experience, nothing prepared me for watching Mum leave her home for the last time.”

Unexpected Gifts

Despite the challenges, caring for Mum at home was a profound privilege.

Our family came together with a united purpose. Her grandchildren visited, and her favourite lap dog lay quietly beside her, offering gentle comfort.

I spent many hours lying next to her — reading Scripture, singing hymns, watching her favourite musicals, and using lavender oil during personal care. These moments were sacred and deeply personal.

After she died, I was able to wash and prepare her body one final time, without pressure or urgency. That time remains precious to me.

“To accompany Mum on her journey home was a gift beyond measure.”

Key Reflections for Practice

Caring for my mother at home reinforced several lessons relevant to community palliative care:

1. Access to equipment and supplies is vital.

Families often struggle to obtain items nurses take for granted in clinical settings.

2. Medication access and costs add to carer stress.

Frequent dispensing can intensify emotional and financial strain.

3. Family carers carry immense emotional labour.

Even experienced clinicians can feel overwhelmed when caring for their own loved ones.

4. Community palliative care teams are invaluable.

Their support made it possible for Mum to remain at home comfortably.

5. End-of-life care is sacred work.

Whether in hospital, hospice, or at home, it involves dignity, presence, and compassion.

Closing Thoughts

Fulfilling Mum’s wish to die at home was both challenging and deeply meaningful.

She died where she wanted to be – surrounded by love. I remain grateful for the opportunity to be her daughter, her nurse, and her companion on the final steps of her earthly journey.

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