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From Luke’s Journal Sept 2025 | Vol. 30 No. 2 | Success-Failure

Throughout our upbringings, beginning as children, whether it be in schools, sports or arts, we are always striving for success, while fearing failure. But we see over time, most people are not at the top end of “trophy successes”, nor are they lagging at the bottom end. Most people are somewhere in the vast middle. Generally, people aim to avoid failure by putting in effort, knowing that success is unattainable. For those deemed as “failures” by educational systems, they often become indifferent and cynical about life, or worse, perceive themselves as having failed in life. Over time, many become bitter. When I was a school chaplain, I spoke with older teachers who were consumed by bitterness because they had not been promoted and because they felt their efforts had been in vain and left largely unrecognised.

Yet for those in our society who have been highly successful, who walk away with the awards and trophies, and appear to do so easily, the pressure of perfectionism is on them to continue to perform perfectly, to continue to be Number One. Privately, they confess this performance, expected by others or themselves, is absolutely crushing and exhausting, yet high-octane success is integral to their identity as a person. They are not allowed to fail, not ever, and when they do, their very existence and being is brought into question, leaving them devastated. It is a pressure they have learnt to put on themselves as young children and which has often either explicitly or implicitly been placed upon their shoulders by their parents, with sky-high expectations.

Scene 1. Picture this, a young man has returned home late one night and is exhausted; his left wrist is swollen and the top of his right foot is black. Earlier that day, over an exam which stretched over several hours, he achieved his goal and attained a First-Degree Taekwondo Black Belt after some years of determined and hard training. He has felt a sense of elation earlier in the evening during dinner, but now, strangely, he only feels a sense of deep emptiness and he doesn’t understand it. He recognised that his success of that day had not delivered what he thought it always promised, that is, a sense of complete fulfilment. It was only hours later, and the gold sheen of victory was already wearing thin.

Scene 2. Twenty years later, the same man is attending the wake for a student who has died at his school. This beautiful young boy had cancer for most of his life and died on the last day of the school year. The man was a teacher of the student. The man had lost his position at the school, because of the unjust ways of the headmaster. Whilst at the wake, filled with hundreds of people, the man feels someone looking at him from across the hall. That someone turns out to be the powerful and corrupt headmaster who is grinning at him. It is the grin of male victory, satisfied he had removed this teacher unjustly. It is a jarring experience for the man in question, who has come to the funeral to pay his last respects to his former student, but the headmaster has taken the opportunity to gloat and the man in question does nothing in response.

This person in each scene above was me. The promises of success had proved elusive in the first scene; it is a failure to assume success will make us complete or fulfil us or make us satisfied, when only God can do this in our lives through our deep relationship with Jesus Christ. It is tempting to follow idols and easy to be lured by false promises, promises that they can never deliver.

What about the second scene, which happened at a private religious school? The only “success” I had on that day was not approaching the headmaster, a vile man, and saying anything to him. Not only did he dish out injustice to many staff, but he saw no moral problem in using that boy’s wake as his chance to show his dominance. Thankfully, wisdom prevailed, because I knew if I had gone over to him, I would have regretted what I might have said. A few years later, the headmaster left the school after appearing on the front page of the local paper, being accused of being a bully. I felt somewhat vindicated.

When we are successful, it is not something to be despised, unless it becomes our idol and our identity. A greater challenge about being successful is – what do we learn about God, life, others and ourselves through success? How does it change us? Does it make us more grateful for the blessings of our lives? Does it make us proud and superior? Is it something we use for the good of those around us, or is it primarily prized for our own self-advancement and admiration from others? Is it used to serve others in the name of Christ, or is it a means to an end, a way to climb the deceitful ladder of fame, wealth and power?

When I worked in schools as a teacher and later as a chaplain, it was always the cleaning staff with whom I had great conversations. In many ways, I envied them, for they came across as people who were “off the ladder” of success (and failure) in schools. I always felt privileged to know them. One of our problems in living in a hierarchical society, where there are micro-hierarchies in every hospital and every school, is being resolute in seeing every person as having equal worth, no matter what role or position they hold. This is what we must do as believers. We need to escape the ladder rungs, the illusion of perceived success and failure, which have driven us into fear or aspiration our whole lives. Freedom means we are not defined by what our culture defines as success and failure, which are often rewarded by social rank and financial incentives.

The Bible does not so much focus on the false axiom of success and failure, but rather on wisdom and foolishness. The word of God says that wisdom is to fear the Lord and to shun evil (Proverbs 3:7). The wise will do this, but the foolish do not. Instead, the fools do not fear the Lord and do not shun evil, for they do not believe that God exists or that God is good. They also do not care if they do evil to others under the sun, as long as no one does evil to them. Those who are wise, on the other hand, love God for they know they were first loved by Him (1 John 4:19). The wise know God is good, despite their suffering. True wisdom, is to know God and know we are loved by God, walking with God, albeit imperfectly, and knowing that we are going to meet Him one day.

It is our heartbreaking failures that teach us our most significant life lessons. Our humiliations, when surrendered to Jesus, turn into humility. Ironically, our sufferings and perceived failures take us deeper into our relationship with Christ, as we enter His sufferings, especially if we suffer unjustly. He is always there for us. No golden trophy, award or prize is enough to fill the human soul, because only Jesus is our treasure, and we can only rest peacefully when our hearts rest in Him.

Spiritual failure is not walking with God and not knowing His great love for us, and doing things in our own strength. Spiritual success, if I can dare say that, is depending on God, surrendering to Him, no matter what happens to us. It is realising that, because of the great grace, love and mercy of Jesus, we can even accept and forgive ourselves.

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