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From Luke’s Journal June 2024  |  Vol.29 No.2  |  Christian Hospitality

We trekked through a dripping forest and then climbed a steep hill. Hidden well out of sight, we came across a cluster of houses. Actually, the word ‘huts’ would be more accurate. My guide explained that he had special permission to bring me to meet these families, and they were excited about our visit. I felt completely out of my depth – a newly minted doctor who had no understanding of this people group, or what I was even doing there.

A few days beforehand, I had been at an ICMDA (International Christian Medical and Dental Association) conference in Singapore, where I met a Malaysian doctor. She invited me to visit her in Malaysia straight after the conference, and as I had a few days spare, I agreed. From there, she introduced me to a pastor who worked with the ‘Orang Asli’, the original inhabitants of Malaysia, now less than 1% of the population and living in the hills. The next day, he took us to visit them – something only allowed by invitation. Despite being a doctor, I had nothing to offer them. Twenty-four hours ago, I didn’t even know they existed! I prayed that I would not do or say something offensive and could bless them somehow despite my empty hands.

The memory of that visit, especially the incredible meal they served me, will stay with me forever. Whenever I think about hospitality, this experience comes to mind. They were subsistence farmers, living completely off their land. Malnutrition was obvious just looking at them, from their babies to their elders. Yet they served me food with such welcoming joy, more than I could eat (I assuaged my guilt by sneaking pieces to their curious kids!). Whenever I am tempted to think I don’t have enough resources (food, time, venue etc.) to practice hospitality, I remember sitting on the floor of that hut. They served someone they didn’t know, with less than a day’s notice, giving what they had, in the most basic of settings – and I have never felt more welcomed.

What is Hospitality?

Practicing hospitality is no longer an intrinsic part of our Western culture. In the broader community, it’s usually about putting on an event for friends (hosting them for a BBQ, perhaps holding a fancy party for a special event). This is quite different to what people understood in ancient cultures. With no such thing as hotels, travellers relied on strangers to take them in, to both feed and house them. Ancient cultures believed that various gods oversaw the traveller, and those hosting them were answerable to the gods for their treatment. Hospitality was therefore taken very seriously. It was common for strangers to be welcomed into people’s homes to be fed and to stay overnight, something that today would be considered by many to be a dangerous practice. However, in ancient times, there were legally (and socially) binding arrangements even for just an overnight guest. With the introduction of hotels/motels and restaurants, the need for travellers to rely on the hospitality of strangers has waned.

So, how can we practice biblical hospitality nowadays, in our current cultural context? Perhaps there is less need to provide accommodation for travellers, but eating together in an intentionally hospitable way is just as important as it ever has been. Everyone eats, in all cultures and contexts. In fact, modern western mealtimes are often so fragmented and rushed that providing a genuinely hospitable meal can be a wonderfully counter-cultural action. I will therefore focus this article on hospitality as enacted over mealtimes.

An Expectation of Christ-Followers

Jesus’ first miracle was at a wedding feast. He ate with sinners throughout his earthly ministry. He taught us to invite the lowly to parties and to welcome children and strangers into our lives. After his resurrection, he prepared breakfast for his disciples, including Peter who had only recently betrayed him. During this meal, he described the kingdom of heaven as a feast. We cannot disentangle Jesus’ actions and message from the act of hospitality.

Beyond the gospels and the life of Jesus, the New Testament goes on to give some clear messages about the importance hospitality. For example:

• Within Acts and Romans, Paul remarks on the hospitality that he was offered during his travels, acts that he both relied on and deeply appreciated (Acts 28:7; Romans 16:23).
• Romans 12:13 instructs us to “Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality…”. This instruction is followed by a  list of many other actionable points about how to live a life of love.
• 1 Peter 4:8-10 commands us that, ^“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.”

Showing hospitality to fellow believers is an expectation of Christians. It’s not just expected from those who have a special gift however, it is expected of everyone – and without complaining! As Christians, the loving hospitality we show to each other will be a witness. As Jesus says in John 13:35, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”  Additionally, the Bible instructs us to pass this hospitality on to people we don’t know. In Hebrews 13:2 it is written, “Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.” Regardless of your theological understanding of what ‘angels’ means in this verse, there is a profound truth here that we should not miss: the message of the gospel is that of radical inclusion. We must be careful not to limit our hospitable interactions to those we “know are Christians”. The bottom line is that when we love others, we are loving God (1 John). Hospitality can be a compelling and effective way of loving others.

Getting It ‘Right’

Have you ever been invited to a meal where you have felt unwelcome? What was it that made you feel that way? The quality of the food? The cleanliness of the home? I suspect it was more to do with the way you were treated. Proverbs 23:6-8 says, “Do not eat the food of a begrudging host, do not crave his delicacies; for he is the kind of person who is always thinking about the cost. ‘Eat and drink,’ he says to you, but his heart is not with you. You will vomit up the little you have eaten and will have wasted your compliments.” Being a good host is not about what food or drink you provide, it’s about how you make others feel. My experience with the Orang Asli drove that home to me, and I have never forgotten it. It is my opinion that to get hospitality ‘right’, it should be enacted in the right place, with the right attitude and including right people.

Right place

I firmly believe that the right place for hospitality is our homes. There is something vulnerable and deeply relational about hosting people in your home. While there is nothing at all wrong with running an event at church, in a restaurant, or in a park, being hospitable means inviting people into our lives at a deeper level. I personally find this challenging – with four children, our home is always messy and I have to swallow my pride when inviting others over. Yet whenever I am invited to someone else’s’ home I never pause to notice whether their laundry is still piled up and the sink is full. And even if it was, I would be even more grateful to that person for having me over, as I would see they had prioritised me over cleaning up their home!

Right attitude

Remembering the Bible verses already quoted, a begrudging and grumbling attitude is absolutely not okay. The goal of Christ-centred hospitality is not to impress, it’s to invite, include, and value our guests. If people walk away thinking they have visited an impressive house, then we have failed. Instead, they should leave feeling they have been part of a welcoming home. In fact, they should catch a glimpse of what it means to come home to the family of God. Of course, these are high ideals which we may not achieve, but at the very least we should check our attitude and do our best to help enable our guests’ experience to be as close to this as we can.

Right people

If we recognise that the goal of our hospitality is to serve others, we will rethink our guest list! We will actively seek out those who we ordinarily wouldn’t prioritise. Rather than inviting the clever consultant we want to impress, what about the medical student who is struggling to pass? Rather than the well-known worship leader at church, what about the person who always sits on the peripheries? Our homes may be the only place that someone feels safe to confess weakness and struggles, away from the need to ‘perform’ in a work or church setting.

Some Practical Ideas for Hospitality in CMDFA

We are a fellowship, not a club. Therefore, hospitality should be a lifestyle not an event. There is benefit in organising events of course, but through those we should encourage clusters of in-home gatherings where growth and nurturing can take place. If you have not experienced hospitality from others in CMDFA before, why not initiate it yourself?

I encourage you to focus on what you can give, not what you cannot.  Can you provide a cup of tea and a safe place to drink it? That may be exactly what is needed to serve others. Don’t wait until you have the resources to put on a full meal, it may be years before that happens! Just offer the ‘loaves and fish’ that you have at your disposal.

While providing food for guests is important, it is also important not to waste it! When I host a CMDFA gathering where I’m not sure how many will come, I often do it as a ‘pot luck’ arrangement. This means there will be enough food whether there are 7 or 70 people who turn up. It also means people can freely invite their friends and colleagues at the last minute. We are therefore able to be inclusive and welcoming, without worrying about not having enough, or throwing food out because of over-catering!

“We are therefore able to be inclusive and welcoming, without worrying about not having enough, or throwing food out because of over-catering!”

A recent helpful trend in healthcare is to think through ‘the patient’s journey’. It’s also helpful to do this with hospitality: What is ‘the guest’s journey?’. Think stepwise about things like: Where should they park? Should you keep a car spot for the elderly or those with a disability? Where should they put food and drinks when they arrive? Would name tags help if there will be a large number of people (this saves the embarrassment of forgetting someone’s name as soon as they have been introduced to you!)? If kids are invited, is there something for them to do so their parents can relax? Is music playing the background helpful or a distraction? You may realise as you think this through that you need some helpers, and that’s absolutely fine. Either ask others in advance or wait to see who arrives first and ask them. I sometimes even ask complete strangers to a CMDFA event to do things like direct people to where they can grab a drink or write up a name tag. For the most part, they enjoy being given a role to focus on, especially if they are introverted, as it saves them from having to make small talk!

Finally, and most importantly, PRAY! Pray as often as you remember, from the moment you decide to host. Pray for wisdom to invite those whom God wants to come, which may include setting boundaries around the purpose of your gathering. (e.g. if you want a safe space for Christians to debrief about their struggles, then opening the invitation to those who are not yet believers will not provide that). Pray for God to bring those who need to be there and for them to feel loved and welcomed. Pray for a loving and inclusive attitude within yourself and that service of others will remain your focus even if things don’t go according to your plans.

Hospitality matters. I obviously have never been able to repay the Orang Asli for their incredibly loving and sacrificial hospitality towards me in that hut more than twenty years ago. But I can pay their graciousness forward into the lives of others. Hopefully, reading this can embolden and inspire you to practice hospitality too: wherever you are, with whatever you have, to those who need what you can offer.

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