By Anonymous
3 min read
Luke’s Journal July 2026 | Vol.31 No.2 | Sexuality
The Scornful Self
It’s the sound of the self, slapping thyself in the face
See a brittle self, shaking, naked, trembling in endless shame,
Fragile egos love striving performance, never grace.
Self-rejecting selves know life is but a losing game.
Hear the endless black voice of slow-motion death
How does a self love a loathsome self-rejecting self?
How does one not despise one which felt grief on the day of birth?
We need a greater love than a swirling Friday night embrace.
Where can one sojourn to find peace on this earth?
We need a person to take away the stain of our disgrace.
The shimmering person who was a person before the world was made ..
Has come to find us in darkness, at the hopeless end of ourselves.
His cross is taking our shame away, our self-reproach to his grave.
Only the person from heaven can save a lost person’s soul,
From dying in their own lost Eden which became for them
Their endless, despised and devilish garden maze.
Thank God for Jesus who died like a lamb on the tree of knowledge,
Who cracks and fractures our deceiving concave, convex black mirrors.
The loving one who has come to bind up bitter brokenness
Who treats us with healing sacred balm, to bring us home
Where one night we shall be whole.
Author’s note
This poem concerns the problems of self-loathing and self-rejection which may occur for many reasons. At times, this perspective may be encouraged in our churches where any focus on the self is equated with selfishness. The poem is about the absolute failure of the personal self-hatred project and the need for us to gain deep, abiding peace through our acceptance by Jesus, who said the second greatest thing to do as humans is to ‘Love your neighbour as yourself’.
I have come to understand the meaning of loving ourselves (despite flaws, failings and our sinfulness) is to deeply accept, respect and protect ourselves, not only because we are made in the divine image, but also because we are redeemed by Christ and children of God. For many Christian people, this is a long journey which involves believing what God says about us, rather than what others say and what we believe about ourselves. It all goes back to the scope of Grace, Mercy and Love in our lives and that Jesus has come to actually save us from ourselves.
Anonymous. I was born and raised in Newcastle, NSW, in the mid-1960’s. I was raised as a devout & religious Roman Catholic and after some years of searching, experienced a dramatic conversion to Christ at age 21. I have been writing poetry for over 40 years, having been originally inspired by TS Eliot when I was 17 years old. I’m a very ordinary person who still has trouble reversing properly. I’m married to a wonderful woman who is a midwife. We have been married for 30years this year and have two adult daughters who also work in Health.
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