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Luke’s Journal July 2026  |  Vol.31  No.2  |  Sexuality

As our society is more permissive and applauds sexual sin, the church will likely see more believers and converts struggling with sexual sin. How can a church care for them in a gospel-informed way?

We won’t be addressing here the impact on the spouse, victim and wider family, although churches need to give great care to those who have been deeply wounded by sexual sin. 

Understand sexual sin

To elevate sexual sin as uniquely abhorrent really shows we aren’t disgusted enough at more socially respectable sins.¹ And yet, Paul says “every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body” (1 Cor. 6:18).

Other sins harm our body, but what is so unique about sexual sin?

Well, what does sex involve? The bible says sexual intercourse is more than a Personal Development, Health & Physical Education (PDHPE) lesson. It is not merely a physical appetite like hunger, but neither is it something dirty.

Paul has a higher view of sex than his own culture and our culture today. “Do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her?” (1 Cor. 6:16). Is Paul nonsensical here, saying that uniting bodies sexually results in a union of bodies? Or is Paul’s assumption that God has designed sex to be a uniting of whole persons? A way of creating a profound bond between a husband and wife, through the giving of one’s entire self – emotionally, personal identity, even spiritually?

As the late Timothy Keller said, ‘Sex was designed as a way to do radical self-donation.’²

Since sex involves radical self-donation, the misuse of sex has a great ability to produce shame – not merely guilt that I did something wrong. It impacts our sense of personhood – implying that I am unworthy and dirty.

Understanding sexual sin as evoking deep shame can inform how we care for those in our church who are repentant of sexual sin.

Seek Godly sorrow

The church shouldn’t make light of the impact of sexual sin. Repentance is not a ‘cheap grace’ attitude as if an individual’s sin isn’t a big deal. Or, as if it’s God’s job to forgive, and so the church should treat them as if nothing happened. The church may need to discipline the individual to seek their true repentance and eternal salvation.

“…God-conscious sorrow and shame look to Jesus’ blood for cleansing and His resurrection power to change, while fully accepting the ongoing consequences of their actions.”

Some sexual sin is criminal and must involve the police. Sometimes it will mean a person can no longer be trusted in leadership or with ministries to the vulnerable. True repentance is seen in Psalm 51, where David mourns his sin before a holy God. That God-conscious sorrow and shame look to Jesus’ blood for cleansing and His resurrection power to change, while fully accepting the ongoing consequences of their actions. 

Examine yourself

You will do harm if you try to help from a place of moral superiority. As we move to help someone caught in sin, we are always ministering from a place of weakness and susceptibility ourselves.⁴

Be ready for God to uncomfortably stretch your faith in the gospel you profess. Is belonging in the church only by the merit of Christ alone? Can He really set someone free from such deep addiction? Can I really look at this person with affection again? Am I really this lost that Christ had to come rescue me? 

Remembering, “There but for the grace of God go I”, can help us move toward our struggling brother or sister from a place of humility and grace.

Don’t accept fig leaves

Like Adam and Eve in the garden tried to cover their shame, those trying to repent of sexual sin can reach for false coverings of their own making.

These might include trying to rebuild their reputation with lots of Christian good works or demanding the church’s unqualified acceptance. Others will try to rebuild their sense of worth out in the world, since Christian activities will evoke feelings of shame. These are all man-made attempts to cover over deep shame.

We can care by pointing them to the true remedy for shame: being clothed in Christ by grace we have connection, hope and can be full of praise. 

Clothed in Christ

Connection

Where we began in 1 Corinthians 6, we can easily miss how crazy good Paul’s primary point is. To paraphrase: “Don’t you know how deeply connected you are to Christ?! My physical body is a member of Christ. The glorious Holy Spirit has made His home in me. I am not my own, I am bought at the price of Christ taking my shame on the cross.”

Knowing the worst about you, by his Son’s death and giving of His Spirit, the Lord has done radical self-donation.

If a brother or sister confesses sexual sin to you, they will be anticipating your rejection, your disappointment, your loss of respect. Our first response is very important. From our eye contact, body language and words, we want to treat them as deeply united to the Lord by grace alone – I see some of the worst about you, and I’m staying.

“We can help by going out of our way to remind them that their access to God is a hundred percent certain…”

Their shame will create a massive barrier to walking into church, praying, opening the Bible, or singing. We can help by going out of our way to remind them that their access to God is a hundred percent certain because of Christ’s radical self-donation.

Sit with them at church. Encourage them to take the Lord’s Supper. Make sure they know you are genuinely pleased to see them at growth group/ small group/ Bible study. Assure them, when meeting one-on-one for prayer, that “a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” (Ps. 51:17)

Hope

There is hope for those who are struggling with sexual sin, because it is God’s grace that empowers change now and guarantees full change in eternity.

All believers are in a war between the desires of the flesh and our deeper desires of the Spirit.⁵ We are all in the struggle, but through the local and wider church resources, we ought not struggle on our own. We can try to help them see that accountability and consequences are evidence of the church’s love, not rejection. Sexual sin often needs help to overcome addiction, and while therapy, accountability groups, friends and strategies to limit temptation are of great benefit, ultimately our hope for change is in God.

“We might expect God’s moral law to train us, but the power comes by dwelling on the Lord’s radical self-donation.”

It is God’s grace that is ‘training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in the present age.’ (Titus 2:12). We might expect God’s moral law to train us, but the power comes by dwelling on the Lord’s radical self-donation. Having tasted the better peace, life and purpose found in Christ, the Holy Spirit really does give us agency to choose to say “No” to temptation.

Regularly anticipating God’s future grace gives power to pursue change. Christ will finish our redemption, inside and out. “Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when He appears we shall be like Him, because we shall see Him as He is. And everyone who thus hopes in Him purifies himself as He is pure.” (1 John 3:2-3)

Praise

There will be a longing to one day never feel the shame they now feel for past sins. But what if feelings of shame can be fuel, not for worthlessness, but for worship?

In Luke 7, a sinful woman wept at Jesus’ feet, wiped them with her hair, then poured anointment on his feet. The Pharisee watching on is disgusted by this woman. But Jesus is not disgusted, he is honoured by her. Why? Jesus tells a parable where two people are forgiven a debt, the one forgiven of the larger debt loves much more than the one forgiven of a smaller debt. He who is forgiven much, loves much.

The deeper our awareness is of our shame, when we take it to those feet nailed to the cross, those feelings of shame will be transformed into greater love for Jesus. That’s the peace, joy, and even purpose that David found in the Lord cleansing him of his shame – “I will teach transgressors your ways… my mouth will declare your praise.” (Ps. 51:13-15)

We can best help our brother and sister, sitting in shame over sexual sin, by pointing them to the Lord’s radical self-donation. Clothed in him, we have deep connection, powerful hope and a way to transform our shame into greater love for Jesus. 

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1. Greed can be as spiritually destructive as sexual sin: “…nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, not revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” (1 Cor 6:10)
   
2. Timothy Keller. Sexuality and Christian Hope. April 18, 2004. Available from: https://gospelinlife.com/sermon/sexuality-and-christian-hope/
   
3. See 1 Corinthians 5.
   
4. “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.” (Galatians 6:1) “For from within, out of the heart of man, come… sexual immorality.” (Mark 7:21)
   
5. Galatians 5:16-25.